...

Tonight, the wheel of dukkha
Has rolled over my heart...
Again.

I know I should see this as part of life's comings and goings, but this has been going since my grandparents were in swaddling clothes. I can't begin to make sense of the giant knife switch that gets pulled to "Off" at some point during the post-season (unfortunately, it's been right at the beginning of the post season, lately).

I cannot make sense of a Cy Young winner and MVP and Manager of the Year unable to win 1 of 3 in 1984. I cannot make sense of a muffed double play by a golden glove shortstop in 2003. I cannot make sense of the bats drying up two post-seasons in a row in 2007-8. I cannot make sense of 100 years of futility at our expense.

What I do know is this:

Whatever powers there be in this universe, they hate the Cubs and their fans. We are born to suffer and die and pass the legacy of pain on to our scion. We are the diaspora, scattered far and wide... You of devotion to other teams: Look around - we fill your stadiums. Yet, we can never win. We have our hopes raised in holy cow hosanna, only to have them dashed before us like the Bartman ball incinerated at Harry's.

I, for one, quit you baseball. I quit you like an abusive spouse. I simply cannot take it anymore. I will not pass this emotional cancer on to my children.

A side note to Derek Lee: You acquitted yourself well. I hope you go on to further success somewhere, only I will not be watching.

Dear Ms. Palin

If your biggest selling point is that you're a Washington outsider, wha'd'ya say we do what we can to keep you there... Outside of Washington.

No Wonder the Vote Failed...

700 bucks wouldn't have been enough to bail me out of my parking tickets in DeKalb... Maybe Congress could sell Market Days products to help defray the cost. I love those pigs-in-a-blanket on a stick...

bigSoda breakingNews!

Clay Aiken is gay!

Didn't see that one coming...

Dear Capitol Steps or JibJab

Please accept this as my audition:



Sung to the tune of "My Favorite Things"

Lipstick on pit bulls,
And Bridges to Nowhere,
I can see Russia - no reason to go there,
I likes me guns and I likes to shoot things,
That's the experience I'm gonna bring.

Speaking in tongues,
While I pray away gayness,
All of those Democrats,
They are so heinous,
I will be Queen while McCain is the King,
Guess what John's next health care issue will bring...

Watching hockey,
Racing dog sleds,
Canned my niece's dad,
If you just examine the things that I say,
Obama won't seem, so bad...

Helping communities,
That's just for assholes,
And, Oy! That corruption trial,
It's such a hassle,
Using subpoenas to wipe my butt clean,
Because I'm a "Maverick," whatever that means...

Drilling for oil,
Through a polar bear's butt cheeks,
Sex education,
Makes kids into ass freaks,
Do as I say but don't ask what it means,
My daughter's pregnant at just seventeen.

Global warming,
People foreign,
These both make me mad,
If you just take time to peruse all my views,
Obama won't seem...
Sooooooo Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaad!

Random Thoughts

Blood is thicker than water, but not as thick as pudding. Trust pudding.

Insight from Ellie Simone's Mom

Looking up from her laptop:

"I can't stand Sarah Palin... 'The Alaskan pipeline is God's will.' 'The Iraq war is God's will.' You know who else says they're doing God's will? The terrorists!"