Band practice is an emotionally taxing endeavor. Musical compositions are performed with each nuance subject to the most unforgiving scrutiny. Each member of the musical combo is focused on the details of the musical integrity of each piece with the hawk-like diligence of…
Eh, who am I kidding?
BigDrag is like an idiot casserole that’s been slowly baking over the… Holy crap… 15+ years we’ve been playing together. So long, in fact, that the finest bits of idiocy have become browned to perfection. Often times, after we’ve slammed through our set, Chris will sit at the computer and fire up some first-person shooter game to show off the ridiculous game-play to us. One of those games was Team Fortress 2, and he was showing off the weapons the different characters had available to them, not least of which was the Sniper’s jar of piss.
Generally speaking, the rest of us just add color commentary to Chris’ battles on the computer screen. This one sent Ed and I over the edge, much to Joe’s chagrin. Ed and I laughed ’til we couldn’t breathe thinking of situations where the most desirable possibility in a given situation was that you were covered in piss, or that the puddle you found had damn well better be piss.
Once you start, it’s a pretty funny game (or, at least, Ed and I think so). So, I’m offering up the first annual bigSoda writing challenge:
The rules are simple – write a story of any length, the setup can be whatever you like, but the final sentence must be the title of this post (or some profanity-laden variation on it). In order to enter into the contest, just post a comment to this post with a link to the story online. Do so by March 31st, 2011 and entries will be judged by me. I’ll announce a winner (if there are any entries) by tax day – April 15th, 2011. Remember, it doesn’t matter where you start it just has to end up with a quantity of urine being the best-case scenario at the conclustion.
The winner will receive a $50 Amazon Gift Card and a first-generation Zune I no longer use with whatever music happens to be on there.
I know you can do it. I have faith in you, so fire up your favorite word processor and start typ… Oh, my God! That had better be piss!