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Big Message
[7.01.2009 11:44 AM]

Someone left a message on North Avenue Beach today:



It says "EDDIE, I'M PREGNANT." I hope Eddie's sitting down.

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First 9 Down
[6.20.2009 12:55 PM]

We finished the fist 9 and nobody's dead (that we know of). The golf cart Chris and I have farts.

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What the?!?

I think Ed just called me a Romulan! What the f@&$?!?

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Ed doing his best work

A bathroom and a fresh Old Mil on the 5th tee. Life is pretty good.

P.S. Ed still hooked his shot in there.





photo posted from my iPhone

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Award for best golf look

goes to the Old Dog.



photo posted from my iPhone

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We almost got hit by another golpher on Tee 2. We think it was an accident.



photo posted from my iPhone

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Notice to the Man: I am not driving.



photo posted from my iPhone

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Loading Up.

Just loaded my golf clubs into my station wagon... What the hell happened to me?!?

photo posted from my iPhone

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And we're off!

Just pulled out of Ed's driveway. Got to remember I'm wanted for parking tickets out here so the other guys have to drive the carts.

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Second Annual Big Drag Golf Outing
[6.19.2009 8:10 PM]

With all the attention being paid to the iPhone 3G S launch today, the news outlets seemed to overlook the titular sporting event. Not to worry! We've got you covered.

For those of you who are less interested in shiny new gadgets than you are in four morons whacking tiny balls with long sticks, help is on the way. We'll be live blogging the event right here on bigSoda. I can't vouch for the quality of the posts or the authenticity of the accounts, but I can say this: you'll get to enjoy a round of golf with us without having to smell us on a near-90 degree day. Lucky you.

So, if you wanna get your golf on, tune in to the U.S. Open. If you wanna see drunks abusing Scotland's pastime, grab a Mr. Pibb and tune in for a noon-thirty tee time right here on bigSoda.

May God have mercy on our souls.

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Insight from Ellie Simone
[5.31.2009 9:34 PM]

"Daddy? I was thinking... Sometimes, your bathroom smells kinda funny."

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Who the F@$% are YOU?
[5.29.2009 10:29 PM]

So, every so often I sit down and hit the YouTubes for some musical entertainment. My lovely wife sent me a link to the always awesome Christopher Guest troupe doing "Mighty Wind." After cruising through that to some Bach shredding, through some Thin Lizzy, I landed on the Who.



After watching this (and, in particular, Keith Moon), it made me remember why I got into music in the first place. It kind of reminds me of the physics joke about turtles... When you watch Keith Moon play, there is nothing but Keith Moon all the way down. Someday, I will be able to make my music so that it's me all the way down.

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Long, Strange Trip
[5.26.2009 6:59 PM]

It's been a while since I rapped at ya...

So, for some cruel reason unbeknownst to me, a meeting was scheduled for 11:30 this morning in Manhattan to present to one of our clients on usability. It's cruel because that meant I needed to get up at 4:00 a.m. the day after a holiday weekend.

Since it was a holiday weekend, that meant there was fireworks going off in our neighborhood. Not bottle rockets, but real commercial ordnance. That meant a restless night for the Bean. So, she was in bed with us and not asleep. When she's restless, she likes to pull on my ears and claw at my back. I don't think that's an indication of some underlying psychological issue, but it's still weird. Weird, and it kept me up 'til after 1:00 a.m.. I was already up late due to nerves about the presentation, this just prolonged the awake-ness and the nervousness.

The alarm went off at 4:00 and I got up. I got ready and the boy got up 8 minutes before my cab showed up. It was actually kind of nice that I got to spend a few minutes with him (getting him back to sleep) before I left.

When we got to LaGuardia, air traffic decided to have us fly in a circle for half-an-hour before we landed. We still made it in plenty of time to meet for a bit before we presented. The room we met in directly overlooked Ground Zero. It's a pretty sobering sight to look down on this massive scar (literally and figuratively) on the face of America. The crews were working full speed, and it's still largely a big hole.

The meeting itself went well. I'm glad I was there for it. Afterward, I was able to walk around SoHo and grab lunch before I headed home. My attempts to get Laura to move to SoHo tonight have all failed.

The flight home was delayed a bit, so I got to see more of LaGuardia than I really wanted to. Buddy George offered to pick me up at O'Hare, which ruled. He wanted me to meet him between terminals where the traffic is lighter. So, I walked down to the end of Terminal 1 and began waiting. While I was standing there, I noticed four agitated cops standing outside a limo. After a while, two of them left and an ambulance arrived moments later. The remaining cops and the paramedics moved what appeared to be a person largely devoid of vitality from the limo. While my heart goes out to the family of the passenger, I actually felt pretty bad for the livery driver. His day was much stranger than mine.

When I got home, the kids were waiting and we danced and discussed the merits of BLT sandwiches. It was good to have things get back to normal.

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Let the Panic... Begin!
[4.29.2009 7:00 PM]

Americans really pull together whenever we feel at risk from something beyond our borders. We're at our best when we band together against terrorists, space aliens, and mimes. Pirates didn't cut the mustard since they're over there and we're over here. But now, Americans, we have a new invader - the Swine Flu. Swine Flu is our chance to huddle in fear with our friends, neighbors, and former enemies. Now's our time to shine, America.

It is our patriotic duty to now develop an irrational fear of Mexicans and pigs. Egypt has really upped the ante by issuing a mandate to slaughter all of the nation's 350,000 pigs. We can do better. We can panic. We can cross the street whenever we see someone who looks vaguely Hispanic. We can boycott pork-related foods or, perhaps, just rename them "Freedom Rinds."

So, next time you see a Mexican person walking down the street, I hope you'll do the American thing and say, "Back off, Pedro. Take your infected ham taco and vammenoose!"

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