Please accept this as my audition:
Sung to the tune of "My Favorite Things"Lipstick on pit bulls,
And Bridges to Nowhere,
I can see Russia - no reason to go there,
I likes me guns and I likes to shoot things,
That's the experience I'm gonna bring.
Speaking in tongues,
While I pray away gayness,
All of those Democrats,
They are so heinous,
I will be Queen while McCain is the King,
Guess what John's next health care issue will bring...
Watching hockey,
Racing dog sleds,
Canned my niece's dad,
If you just examine the things that I say,
Obama won't seem, so bad...
Helping communities,
That's just for assholes,
And, Oy! That corruption trial,
It's such a hassle,
Using subpoenas to wipe my butt clean,
Because I'm a "Maverick," whatever that means...
Drilling for oil,
Through a polar bear's butt cheeks,
Sex education,
Makes kids into ass freaks,
Do as I say but don't ask what it means,
My daughter's pregnant at just seventeen.
Global warming,
People foreign,
These both make me mad,
If you just take time to peruse all my views,
Obama won't seem...
Sooooooo Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaad!