Potential Band Names in the News

Beelzebufo

Tips for Living

Play Holst's "Mars, Bringer of War" on your mp3 player and order coffee.  It'll seem like the most important thing you've ever done.

Just Some Insane Cuteness...

Who's an Asshole?

Has Kanye been one of Tracy Morgan's characters this whole time?

Proof of Time Travel?

So, does the Pancake Puff maker ship directly from the 70s, or did it just take that long to extract it from some petrified fondue?

Double Your Smugness

The other day, Dominick's was out of plastic shopping bags. At first, this seemed like an imposition, but I quickly realized it was a great opportunity to double my sense of smug self-satisfaction:

First, I was able to complain, "Isn't this a grocery store? Shouldn't you have grocery bags?" When offered paper bags as a substitute, I chimed, "Now, how do you expect me to carry all those? Damn..."

Next, I was offered canvas bags as an alternative. They were 99 cents a piece (which I was able to complain about), but they held more than the plastic and would carry easier than the paper. So, I bought three and had them load my groceries inside.

The best part was that I was able to pass by others already struggling with their inferior paper bags and shake my head slowly with those teary eyes that say, "Why do you hate the Earth, ma'am." It was a multi-layered sense of superiority and it felt nice.

The New Guy Interview

bigSoda: Welcome, Edison and thanks for meeting with us.
ECHL: goo
bigSoda: You were born on Super Bowl Sunday, do you expect to be sued by NFL lawyers?
ECHL: ga
bigSoda: Cubs or Sox?
ECHL: Definitely Cubs. Right, Ellie? Woo! Cubs!



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Meet the New Guy

Our family was joined by 9 lbs. and 12 oz. of baby boy by the name of Edison Cooper at 4:15 pm today. Peace.



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Epidurals are like...

... a cashmere sweater for your legs.

- Laura

Monitoring...

I spend a lot of time reviewing these readings and offering my medical opinion.



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Go Time!

Well, either the Maggiano's tempted the baby out, or the McDonald's forced the baby out. Further bulletins as events warrant.



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Smokin' 'em out...

We'll see if we can tempt the kid out with delicious Italian food.



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Which 'Lost' Character Are You?

Laura and I just took the quiz.

This is me:


This is Laura:


What does the fact that I'm Jack and she's Ben say about our relationship?