It could be gas...

... but if it is, I hope he farts every time he looks at us.



posted from iPhoneSlide.com

Amusing Memory

All the neighborhood guys were hanging out in our backyard. I forget who used the word first, but soon we were all using it:

"Don't be such a dildo."
"I'm not a dildo. You're a dildo!"
"Man, you suck! You totally hit that ball like a dildo!"

At its peak, every sentence had at least one "dildo" in it. It sounded even better if you really hit the emphasis on the first syllable (i.e. "You are the biggest DIL-do of all DIL-dos!"). Just then, the sliding glass door to our house slid open with a bang.

"What the hell are you guys saying?!?" We had no idea my mom had come home. My mom could be pretty intimidating back then, too. I'd actually seen her toss one of our Alaskan Malamutes from the sidewalk to the front porch in anger. The level of intimidation was evidenced in the way we all froze, speechless, in our tracks.

"Did I hear you guys calling each other 'dildo'?" Silence.

"Do you have any idea what that means?" *blink, blink*

"I thought so. How stupid are you guys? Why would you call each other something when you have no idea what it means? For your information, it means 'fake penis'!" The sliding glass door slammed shut with a bang.

It was, quite possibly, a full minute that we sat there in stunned silence. Then...

"You are TOT-ally a DIL-DOH!!!"

Just Some Insane Cuteness...

It's hard not to be humbled by these two...

Insight from Ellie Simone

"This is not food. It's a camera."

The Citizen Kane of Metal Suit Movies

This is going to rock!

Potential Band Names in the News

Diseased Cretins

Coolest Gig Ever

Why weren't we playing this gig?

posted from iPhoneSlide.com

Amusing Memory

Back in High School, I was on the phone with a new girlfriend.  While I was talking to her, my little sister, Rachael, came into the room and asked, "What's an orgasm?" 

I couldn't think of a non-embarrassing way to explain it, so I said, "Go look it up in the dictionary.  It's in the living room."

A couple of minutes later, she came back into the room and said, "What's a frenzy?"

Best of Times, Wurst of Times

Tuesday marked my return to work full time. I was eager to get back to work, which had been piling up in my absence, but was a little said to be spending less time with Laura, the Bean, and the Rookie. The sadness was tempered by having this scene greet me just outside the office.

Insight from Edison Cooper's Doctor

"Poop is important."