Election Seasoning (Music Edition)

Election Season is upon us! This is an exciting time when less than half of eligible Americans head out to decide the fate of everyone. This election season, bigSoda has decided to conduct a poll based on things that sound like the candidates. This is our Music Edition, so without further adieu...

On the Republican side:

Don MacLean


Like his GOP counterpart, Don McLean is old. Unlike his homomorphic bretheren, he seems to give a shit about things like the environment and Buddy Holly. In 1971, McLean released "American Pie" and enjoyed the peak of his success and prosperity. Between 1967 and 1973, his Presidential-hopeful analogue was held in a Viet Cong Prison Camp. Again, I'd like to point out that Don McLean is old, so if old is your thing, vote McLean/McCain.

And for the Dems:

Bananrama


The first distinction I noticed was that, while the Democratic candidate is an African-American male, Bananarama seems to be 3 British Women - so they get my vote right there. They also seem to have aged well (unlike Don McLean). While their Democratic sound-alike is preaching unity in Unity, NH with his former opponent, the Bananarama girls demonstrated unity by always singing in unison rather than harmonizing. Some people feel that the Senator from Illinois and the Senator raised in Illinois would make a dream ticket, Beavis and Butthead postulated with regards to Bananarama that "if these chicks married GWAR, they'd have the coolest kids ever". If you agree, vote Bananarama/Obama

Place your votes in the comments section.

"Knock, knock..."

"Who's there?" replied Ellie.

"I took up," said Daddy.

"Who took up."

"No, sweetie. You're supposed to say 'who' after everything else."

"Who after everything else."

"No, no. See... If I said, 'banana,' you'd say 'banana who.'"

"Banana who."

"Right. You ready?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. Knock, knock."

"Who's there?"

"I took up."

"Banana who?"

Insight from Ellie Simone

Ellie: Daddy, let's play a game. It's called "Running Around and Jumping."

Daddy: Okay. How do you play it?

Ellie: Like this! (begins running around and jumping)

To Expectant Parents:

I just wanted to share a couple of insights I've gathered in the course of parenting.

First, if you are expecting your first child, stop reading this blog right now and go to sleep. Parents, can I get a "Hell, yeah?"

Second, if you are expecting your second child, let me offer this:

• Love is infinite. No matter how much you love your first child, there is no need to worry about having to ration love once the second child arrives. No matter how many times you go back to that well, it's always brimming with more.
• Patience, however, is a finite commodity, my friends. Spend it wisely.

Finally, no matter how exhausting the funny dance moves you are performing are, you will find the strength to continue if your kids are laughing. You'll pay for it later, but it will be worth it.

Extreme wuss alert.

I can't even make it to the first chorus of Louden Wainwright's Daughter without tearing up...

Dear Michigan and Florida

Sometimes, my 2-and-a-half year old daughter will ask to play a game when it's bathtime. I tell her that if we play a game before bathtime, it will leave no time for playing before going to bed. She will insist she wants to play and I will relent.

After we take a bath, I go to put her in bed and she will cry because she wants to play. But, I explain to her that I gave her the option and she chose to play before her bath. She will still sob, but she'll push her paci to one side and (in her best Edward G. Robinson voice) say, "Okay, Dad..." Then she goes to bed.

Now, grow up and start acting like 2-and-a-half year olds... Babies.