How to get rich quick

For those of you who are into easy money and want to turn your cash into a huge pile of money to roll around in, I offer these four easy-to-follow steps:

1. Pick a sporting event.
2. Call me and ask me which team I am rooting for.
3. Bet against them.
4. Repeat.

This is sure to turn you into an instant millionaire.

You're welcome.

Edison's First Joke

A few weeks ago, we taught Edison the "Interrupting Cow" knock-knock joke. For the uninitiated, it goes like this:

"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Interrupting cow."
"Interrupting cow w..."
"MOOOO!"

Edison's interpretation goes more like this:

"Not, not"
"Who's there?"
"Cow. MOOO"
"Interrupting cow... No. Wait for me to start..."

Tonight, he wrote his very first material. I put him to bed and said, "Night-night, Tater Tot." (That's a reference to a ketchup incident and another story).

He said, "Daddy. Not, not."
"Who's there?"
"Tee."
"Three?"
"No. Not, not."
"Who's there?"
"Tee."
"Tee?"
"Yeah."
"Tee who?"
"Tee!"

He said it like, "Yeah. Tee. You got socks in your ears?!?"

I laughed for real.

Dear, Chicago Cubs:

If you don't feel like playing baseball, just don't show up to the park. That way I don't waste my valuable time watching.