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Earl “Stuckey” Bends

Funny Congressional Names

April 9, 2011

I’ve learned a few things about Congress following the events leading up to a potential shutdown of the government.  First and foremost is that many members of Congress have funny names.  Some of them sound downright dirty.  Here’s a sampling: Max Baucus – D, Montana Jon Tester – D, Montana Harry Reid – D, Nevada [...]

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Stop! Election Thief!

October 27, 2010
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So, when we started this campaign, we were riding a lot of anti-incumbent momentum. We raised a lot of money. We spent a lot of money. Then, things started to cool down a bit when we had to actually define our platform. But, we were still spending a lot of money. Now, the election’s close [...]

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More Skeletons

October 19, 2010
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So… Maybe not a banner week for my campaign. I’m sure you have all heard by now about the allegations that I forced a co-ed to pray to “Toilet Thor” back when I was a student at that Sally Struthers School of Art & Gun Repair.  I would just like to say for the record [...]

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Much Ado About Muffing

October 14, 2010
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A lot of hubbub has surrounded comments I made in my debate tonight. Since I’m not actually running for anything, my debate was with my daughter’s stuffed panda, Alphabet Peesty. While Alphabet Peesty proved a worthy opponent, it doesn’t change the fact that the panda is an Islamo-Marxist Tax-and-Spend-Bear. At least, I think pandas are [...]

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I Am You(ish)

October 11, 2010
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Hello, America. I am not a witch. I am nothing you’ve heard, seen, or smelled. Many of you may know me as Devin Henkel-Legare (aka bigSoda). But that fancy-pantsed name seemed a bit too elitist. So for the duration of this campaign, I’ll be known as Earl “Stuckey” Bends.  Now that I’ve shed my elitist [...]

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