bigSoda
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Humanity’s Purpose Revealed: MacBook Air

October 22, 2010
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Yesterday, during its “Back to the Mac” event at Apple headquarters, Apple Computer (AAPL) announced the arrival of it’s latest sleek laptop, the new MacBook Air.  The laptop comes in two sizes (a 13.3″ and an 11.6″ model) that both boast a 30 day standby time and 7 hour wireless web usage time.  The announcement was [...]

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More Skeletons

October 19, 2010
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So… Maybe not a banner week for my campaign. I’m sure you have all heard by now about the allegations that I forced a co-ed to pray to “Toilet Thor” back when I was a student at that Sally Struthers School of Art & Gun Repair.  I would just like to say for the record [...]

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More Evidence I’m a Great Dad

October 18, 2010

Mommy: (Away from phone – “Don’t put that up your nose!”) Your son is putting googly-eyes up his nose. Daddy: Ummm…  You should probably try to prevent that. Mommy: Try to prevent it?!? Daddy: Fine.  Put him on the phone. (Rustling on other end) Edison: Hi, Dad. Daddy: Hi, Buddy. What are you doing? Edison: [...]

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Did You Know…

October 17, 2010

That the Wiggles (even the creepy one) have way more money than you do?

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Much Ado About Muffing

October 14, 2010
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A lot of hubbub has surrounded comments I made in my debate tonight. Since I’m not actually running for anything, my debate was with my daughter’s stuffed panda, Alphabet Peesty. While Alphabet Peesty proved a worthy opponent, it doesn’t change the fact that the panda is an Islamo-Marxist Tax-and-Spend-Bear. At least, I think pandas are [...]

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bigSoda breakingNews: Chilean Miners

October 13, 2010
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The first of 33 miners who were trapped for 2 months in a mine has been rescued.  bigSoda has obtained an exclusive transcript between the first miner and the rescue workers: “Roberto! Welcome back to the surface! Chile and the world welcome you.” “Thank you.  I am so glad to be back!” “And we are [...]

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I Am You(ish)

October 11, 2010
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Hello, America. I am not a witch. I am nothing you’ve heard, seen, or smelled. Many of you may know me as Devin Henkel-Legare (aka bigSoda). But that fancy-pantsed name seemed a bit too elitist. So for the duration of this campaign, I’ll be known as Earl “Stuckey” Bends.  Now that I’ve shed my elitist [...]

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Green Weenie (commercial script)

October 8, 2010

TWO GUYS IN A GROCERY STORE.  ONE PUSHES THE CART WHILE THE OTHER WALKS IN FRONT, TALKING. BOB …so, I’m thinking:  I like french toast; I like clam sauce…  Well, let me tell you it’s not as good as it sounds. (Bob absentmindedly grabs something from the shelf and throws it into the cart.) RAY [...]

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Remodelacion

October 6, 2010

Pardon our dust while we remodel.  We’ve moved bigSoda to a new platform, now we need to get her all gussied up.  The eye candy will return soon…

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Neoievalism Descending

March 30, 2010

Lately, I’ve been concerned that we’re headed for a redux of the Middle Ages. Those times were marked by a dangerous rise in religious devotion coupled with the suppression of reason. They lasted a really long time… Unlike the Dark Ages, where the general populace was kept in the dark because the channel to available [...]

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